DVD Review: Stephen King's Desperation (2006)

I was surprised to see this movie on the shelf at the local shop from one of the world’s most known writers and an actor that has become famous as Hellboy (Ron Perlman). How could one pass up the opportunity to watch it?

What became clear early, was how appalling this movie is with its flat characters and a too typical Stephen King storyline: the remote location, characters in over their heads, and the opening of a Pandora’s box of the paranormal.

I was very excited after watching The Mist, and after making a bowl of popcorn and making sure a six-pack of bitter was in the fridge, I turned on the surround sound, glued myself to the chair, and readied myself for 90 minutes of excitement.

I would have been more excited if a sheep challenged me to an arm wrestle. Desperation is one of the worst Stephen King movies I have seen. The characters are predictable and boring and I found myself wanting them to die. The story was rudely stitched together by a young boy who talks to God and sees dead people – a fortunate ally when you’re in the middle of nowhere with a demon sheriff who can take the host of any human person. Every family should have one, just in case.

Five minutes from the end, I was tired, bored, and thought I’d go watch something more interesting, like a blank screen, so I turned it off. What happened in those last five minutes?

I really don’t care.